iamnalani
i'm nalani--hawaiian name that means 'silence of the heavens.' not that i am silent. hah,fat chance!
epilogue
i'm moving to blogdrive...visit me at http://nalani.blogdrive.com.
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somebody's leaving soon
i was near to tears when i learned that this kuya who's very close to me will be leaving soon. he'll be working abroad.
it's never easy when somebody dear to me's leaving. but the joy comes from the knowledge that he's leaving out of obedience to God. if asked, he never wants to leave this country again. but because God has planned something wonderful for him there, he needs to go. the instructions are clear and he doesn't want to disobey again.
this is sad-joyful in a sense. but right now, sadness quite edges the joy.
to submit to authority
let's talk about this, shall we?
for so many times, i've struggled every time it's about submission to authorities. still is struggling these days. especially when i know that i am quite right with my stand. but i do try--hard--to submit. not so much for anything else but more so because God tells us to do so. it's biblical, to say the least. i've learned that i need to submit to those in higher authority than me with the fact that they, too, are accountable to a higher authority who is God. kung meron man silang pinagawa o sinabing hindi dapat, kay Lord sila mananagot.
for so many times also, i've struggled to assert myself as a figure of authority in places or groups where i've been given the mandate. by God's help, i've learned how to in many instances. He really does make me stand up. this is with the thinking that kung meron man akong palpak, my highest accountability would be to Him. but there are just times when i'd just keep quiet and let myself squirm to anger and/or irritation over what i'd think as disrespect and rudeness. there are times when it seemed that i couldn't allow myself to just let out the hell of anger out of me. even if it, you might say, would be said in an educated, proper manner. and how i hate myself for being like this at times.
to think, to think ha, that i so confidently tell other people that if they feel bad about something towards another people, the best thing to do would be to tell the person concern. you know, i'm so good at telling this stuff to people. but here i am, ranting because i couldn't do just that for myself! sigh.
you know what i do in times as such? when i couldn't tell the person how hurt i am because of the rudeness and disrespect, wag na lang sa akin bilang tao pero dun man lang sa position na hinahawakan ko? i'd cry myself out before God. lahat ng nararamdaman ko ke Lord ko na lang sinasabi. tas i'd tell Him na Sya na lang magsabi dun sa tao na nasaktan nya ko, o nabastos nya ko dun sa ginawa nya. bahala na si Lord if whatever way He'd tell that person.
maybe what's making it more difficult for me is the thought that some of the people i encounter na ganito e believers. they, like me, are suppose to learn that God calls for people to submit to authority--no matter how difficult. i'm trying. shouldn't they as well? but well, God reminds me that He is not finish with those people yet, as much as He is not done with me yet.
kaya nga siguro ganun na lang ginagawa ko. i dunno if that's the better thing to do though. but that's what i could right now.
mercy and grace. mercy and grace.
for so many times, i've struggled every time it's about submission to authorities. still is struggling these days. especially when i know that i am quite right with my stand. but i do try--hard--to submit. not so much for anything else but more so because God tells us to do so. it's biblical, to say the least. i've learned that i need to submit to those in higher authority than me with the fact that they, too, are accountable to a higher authority who is God. kung meron man silang pinagawa o sinabing hindi dapat, kay Lord sila mananagot.
for so many times also, i've struggled to assert myself as a figure of authority in places or groups where i've been given the mandate. by God's help, i've learned how to in many instances. He really does make me stand up. this is with the thinking that kung meron man akong palpak, my highest accountability would be to Him. but there are just times when i'd just keep quiet and let myself squirm to anger and/or irritation over what i'd think as disrespect and rudeness. there are times when it seemed that i couldn't allow myself to just let out the hell of anger out of me. even if it, you might say, would be said in an educated, proper manner. and how i hate myself for being like this at times.
to think, to think ha, that i so confidently tell other people that if they feel bad about something towards another people, the best thing to do would be to tell the person concern. you know, i'm so good at telling this stuff to people. but here i am, ranting because i couldn't do just that for myself! sigh.
you know what i do in times as such? when i couldn't tell the person how hurt i am because of the rudeness and disrespect, wag na lang sa akin bilang tao pero dun man lang sa position na hinahawakan ko? i'd cry myself out before God. lahat ng nararamdaman ko ke Lord ko na lang sinasabi. tas i'd tell Him na Sya na lang magsabi dun sa tao na nasaktan nya ko, o nabastos nya ko dun sa ginawa nya. bahala na si Lord if whatever way He'd tell that person.
maybe what's making it more difficult for me is the thought that some of the people i encounter na ganito e believers. they, like me, are suppose to learn that God calls for people to submit to authority--no matter how difficult. i'm trying. shouldn't they as well? but well, God reminds me that He is not finish with those people yet, as much as He is not done with me yet.
kaya nga siguro ganun na lang ginagawa ko. i dunno if that's the better thing to do though. but that's what i could right now.
mercy and grace. mercy and grace.
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it's about time!
heck, i've been trying to access my mindsay account for days already. it's about time that they let me use my account to blog.
i know. i know. the new lay-out is not so me. it's too, uh, feminine. but what could i do? it's the nearest thing to the simplest that i wanted sana. the others have very elaborate lay out so i'd rather have this for the meantime.
so how are you guys lately? ako, i've been occupied with work as usual. plus a lot of thoughts--confusing ones--about stuff. i've been trying to decide over something but i couldn't seem to because i myself do not really seem to know which i want. for now, i resolved to the thought that maybe it'll take time for me to see things clearer, in a better perspective.
i've been trying to avoid anything that has to do with romantic stuff lately. books, movies, songs. they make me, i dunno, melancholic? maybe that's the right word. melancholic. somehow, i know why i'm quite touchie about these stuff. but i also am intentional not to knitpick on it 'cause it might burst right into my face and i dunno if i'm capable of handling it now. i just allow it to lurk beneath. for now. for the meantime.
i dunno if i'm making any sense here. bahala na kayo. plus well, blog ko naman 'to di ba so okay lang ;p. i guess i just missed blogging.
personal notes:
kuya gunns, when are we gonna talk?
jay, so kelan na tayo magkikita? sorry bro, the forces of the universe do not seem to cooperate with us. i hope you're doin well
winniefriends, miss ko na kayo. miss nyo na din ba ko? sana naman no? tas gawa tayo ng paraan para magkita-kita naman tayo. love you, girls!
this will do for now, i guess.
i know. i know. the new lay-out is not so me. it's too, uh, feminine. but what could i do? it's the nearest thing to the simplest that i wanted sana. the others have very elaborate lay out so i'd rather have this for the meantime.
so how are you guys lately? ako, i've been occupied with work as usual. plus a lot of thoughts--confusing ones--about stuff. i've been trying to decide over something but i couldn't seem to because i myself do not really seem to know which i want. for now, i resolved to the thought that maybe it'll take time for me to see things clearer, in a better perspective.
i've been trying to avoid anything that has to do with romantic stuff lately. books, movies, songs. they make me, i dunno, melancholic? maybe that's the right word. melancholic. somehow, i know why i'm quite touchie about these stuff. but i also am intentional not to knitpick on it 'cause it might burst right into my face and i dunno if i'm capable of handling it now. i just allow it to lurk beneath. for now. for the meantime.
i dunno if i'm making any sense here. bahala na kayo. plus well, blog ko naman 'to di ba so okay lang ;p. i guess i just missed blogging.
personal notes:
kuya gunns, when are we gonna talk?
jay, so kelan na tayo magkikita? sorry bro, the forces of the universe do not seem to cooperate with us. i hope you're doin well
winniefriends, miss ko na kayo. miss nyo na din ba ko? sana naman no? tas gawa tayo ng paraan para magkita-kita naman tayo. love you, girls!
this will do for now, i guess.
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when there's nothing more left to say....
i point them back to God.
i think it's rather wise than to make up things that i know very well aren't sufficient and effective. besides, if things are beyond my comprehension, i'm sure that's the best course of action (come to think of it, it's always the best thing to do).
just like this morning. i was talking to one of the young people at church. i initially thought that it was just one of those times when she'd just tell me her latest adventure. i was surprised when her pain on certain matters began pouring out. i could sense that it is very deep. more suprised i guess when tears started rolling down. i was at a loss for words. and i told her that. didn't know what to tell her that would be both comforting and biblical. hay. all i could do was that--point her back to God--and give her a brief hug. i hope she knows by now that if ever she needs someone to listen to her rants, i'm one of those who'll be willing to listen. i guess that's the best thing i could do when i do not know what to say--listen.
i wish there was more i could say to her. but yeah, that's better than acting to be profound when in reality, all that i could have said would be just words with no substance at all. yeah, and cliches.
***********************************************************
august is about to end. tingnan mo nga naman, september na. more than half of the year has passed. and boy was i right when i said at the beginning of this year that this is going to be one heck of a year. looking back on the things that had happened, i could say that, indeed, this is one heck of a year!
four more months to go. ano pa kaya ang mga mangyayari? will i be brave enough to say, "bring it on!"?
guess so
(sabay pray na,"Lord, nandyan Ka naman eh!)
i think it's rather wise than to make up things that i know very well aren't sufficient and effective. besides, if things are beyond my comprehension, i'm sure that's the best course of action (come to think of it, it's always the best thing to do).
just like this morning. i was talking to one of the young people at church. i initially thought that it was just one of those times when she'd just tell me her latest adventure. i was surprised when her pain on certain matters began pouring out. i could sense that it is very deep. more suprised i guess when tears started rolling down. i was at a loss for words. and i told her that. didn't know what to tell her that would be both comforting and biblical. hay. all i could do was that--point her back to God--and give her a brief hug. i hope she knows by now that if ever she needs someone to listen to her rants, i'm one of those who'll be willing to listen. i guess that's the best thing i could do when i do not know what to say--listen.
i wish there was more i could say to her. but yeah, that's better than acting to be profound when in reality, all that i could have said would be just words with no substance at all. yeah, and cliches.
***********************************************************
august is about to end. tingnan mo nga naman, september na. more than half of the year has passed. and boy was i right when i said at the beginning of this year that this is going to be one heck of a year. looking back on the things that had happened, i could say that, indeed, this is one heck of a year!
four more months to go. ano pa kaya ang mga mangyayari? will i be brave enough to say, "bring it on!"?
guess so
(sabay pray na,"Lord, nandyan Ka naman eh!)Profile
